Aussie Gold,2

Pimp My Ride VS Mend My Vehicle

Man, I like that Xibit.

You know the one- that fine rap specimen with the tight corn rolls who rolls in oversized hoops, grid iron and MLB jerseys and snorts audibly casually, almost on cue.

Oh yep, and he singlehandedly repairs crappy cars, also.

Or shall I say, “pimps” “as MTV rhymes it.

Only on United States TV can your rusty Nissan (pronounced Nee-saan by X), Mazda (said Maaz-da by Ish the Hispanic interiors master), or Toyota (pronounced the regular way exactly as the rest of the Earth since there’s no other way to speak it) be transformed from a rusting, spluttering threat to society into a glossy, finely tuned babe magnet.

In a half hour.

Yes indeedy. If you’re fortunate enough to reside in Cali’s Orange County and own a rubbish old vehicle that’s disintegrating from ten too many road smashes, all that you need to do is video your lousy case to the Empty Vee Ruling Body with your own Exhibit U for unregistered and no earlier than the opening credits kicks in with the groovy 70s illustrations, Xibit will be at your front door high fiving you if you’re a man and cuddling you if you’re a sister. And continue embracing you. And jumping on you. And throwing yourself at you.

(I must declare, he does look quite harmless. It’s hard to believe he’s a gangster rapper with all that that bling, size and hussle. Back it up.. Wait a second, it all makes sense now).

And once the loveable street wordsmith has your keys, it’s bye bye patchy putty and hey there turbo charged up Holden “or Chevrolet, as the its marqued in the States – allegedly since the articulation of a 9 letter foreign word is better to pervert than that of a two syllable Ocker legend. Thank the Lord for that!

Not merely will the gang at West Coast Customs mend your automobile, they’ll craft you a hot new body kit, spray paint a customised hue, design some wicked artwork, rebuild your whole engine, put in some sick muffler, install a cutting edge sound system and a Playstation in the boot – not to mention the 15″ LCD screens inside your petrol cap and the yoga studio that jumps out of the speedometer – so that you can drive and play eight ball simultaneously, just like Mother Nature intended.

If ya’ll (un) fortunate enough nevertheless, to reside on this side of the Pacific, you are going to have to do a little more calling around when finding a good car repair, smash repair or panel beating shop.

Most people don't expect their “ride” to be “pimped” after a bingle but they do want their means of daily transport reliably fixed and roadworthy before the end of the week.

As long as your car gets you from A to B and not X to T – Asap – I’m sure you’d be pleased with an honest smash repairer who will get the job finished without the runaround.

So if you do not happen to live in your television or know an Black rapper who’s besties with a crew of hard looking, clinically overweight and badly pierced engineers, vehicle electricians and racing upholsterers, then the next best thing is to look around and get some information from as many honest smash repairers as you can.

If you’ve had a crash and need your car repaired, be sure to check out dLook’s range of smash repairers, panel beaters and automotive spray painting services.

Aussie Gold: Day 2. IPC Worlds, K Cartwright & R Colman.

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